Street ‘tude Hate Hump

Charm vacuum

I can’t imagine what nightmare parallel universe Zuccato’s woefully misguided “Z-kids” come from, but they’re obviously way too cool for school.

I can’t begin to describe how many things are wrong with this advert (at the rear entrance of the Finchley Road O2 Centre) but simply glancing at it I can feel my “hate hump” (link contains swears) filling to bursting point.

The eyeless girl seems to be flipping some kind of meaningless gang sign, while the eyeless boy’s mouth looks like it was once a smile until the corners were thickened and turned down to give him a sullen, adversarial air. The tagline claims that the new Z-kids menu is “scrumdiddlyyum”, a rip-off of the Willy Wonka “Scrumdiddlyumptious” name parsed through 1950s street slang, like the kids are about to recommend a “hotdogerooni” or a “shake-ola”.

I’ve just checked out the Z-kids website at and it looks like I was right. The kids look more benign on the website – the boys mouth is smiling and the girl is holding a lollipop, and the introductory text offers “A big, warm, happy WELCOME to the new Z-kids site.”

So why the decision to gangsta them up? I plan to ask Etrusca Restaurants to explain their marketing strategy via their handy online feedback form…


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